Outside The House, It Doesn't Exist
by Bittersweet Alchemist
Summary: Agon's always been very careful to make sure that no one— NO ONE— discovers this little secret of his. (What I hope to be fluffy crack. Rated T for some language.)


**A crack-ish one-shot about Agon and a secret of his.**

"Tonight? Sorry, can't." Agon yawned.

" _Ehh?_ But..."

Really, why hadn't he dumped this chick _before?_ She was starting to get clingy and possessive, and he _hated_ clingy and possessive women...

Jeez, now with her whining like that, he needed an excuse...

"I told Yuki-chan that I'd stay with her tonight, and I don't wanna let her down."

"I've heard of this Yuki-chan!" the girl gasped, suddenly sharp and vicious, no longer the blubbering crybaby she'd been once he denied her. "What sort of woman is she, that you keep going back to and writing everyone off for?!"

... _Crap_.

None of them had ever tried to dissect that before.

"She's special. I've known her for a long time." Agon replied dismissively.

Agon was never one to hold on to a chick for too long. The longest he ever kept one around was a week and a half. He'd be a perfect charmer while they lasted, but eventually they started getting on his nerves. So he'd typically start taking rain-checks when asked out, and then find some horrendously heartbreaking reason to dump their sorry asses. Unless the girl really pissed him off, in which case he'd just plain dump them.

This one was looking like it'd be the second case, with all her bitching...

" _Special?!_ You told me _I_ was special!" the girl all but shrieked.

"Yuki-chan outranks you." he growled, ready to snarl and storm away if needed.

Huffing, the woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Then tell me about this girl. Tell me how she's so damn _special_ , and we'll see _just how much_ she outranks me."

Yeah, _no one_ had ever asked _that_ before.

Yuki _was_ , in fact, real. He _did_ treat her specially, and she often served as an excuse to get out of things or a reason to dump a particularly trashy woman. However, _no one_ was _ever_ allowed to meet her. Only Unsui had ever laid eyes on Yuki, and he was never to tell anyone about her on pain of death.

Agon _really_ liked Yuki.

Which was why he was dumping this sorry trash woman here and now and going to see her.

As he got home, Agon very carefully shut the door and took a deep breath.

There was no one around now, no one to see her. Of that, he was certain.

"Yuki-chan!" he called happily.

Small pattering sounded, growing closer. A small blur of white jumped up onto the shelf along the entryway's hallway, coming close. Agon held out his arms, allowing the small creature to jump into them.

"Did you miss me, Yuki-chan?" Agon crooned, rubbing his fingers through silky fur.

The small cat mewed happily, arching into his touch.

Yuki was Agon's pet cat. She was a Japanese bobtail, graceful, slender and beautiful. She had midlength, snow-white fur, all except for her tail, which was jet-black. Her eyes were bright blue. Yuki liked to hold long conversations, have her ears scratched, to sit in his lap, and to chase little pieces of string he dragged across the floor. Unlike other cats, she didn't use her claws when she kneaded his lap. She watched attentively when spoken to, and gave appropriate responses. Sometimes Agon wondered if Yuki had been a dog in another life, with how she played fetch, came when called, and behaved so unconditionally _loyal_...

 _This_ was the secret he couldn't let anyone know.

Agon was a cat-lover, and had his own fuzzy little angel at home.

It wasn't that he was going soft. He'd _always_ loved cats. But with the image he'd built up over the years, would anyone respect him? Fear him? Treat him as the _god_ he was?

No.

Which was why it was to be denied that Yuki was his should anyone ever find out. She'd be brushed off as their mother's cat, not his. Did anyone _really_ expect _him_ to keep a pet that _wasn't_ large, intimidating, and badass? Like an attack-dog of some sort, or a cobra?

Again, the answer was no.

So outside of this house, Yuki did not exist.

As Agon flopped down on the living-room couch, Yuki miaowed several times from his arms.

"Oh, really now?" he chuckled, running his hand down her back. She purred, an expression of sheer bliss adorning her cute face. "You like that? Feels good?"

She meowed in an almost drunken fashion, fuzzy paws kneading his bicep.

"So, did you think about what I asked you the other day? Hm?"

A curious trill answered him, a lazy blue eye looking up to meet his gaze.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Well, a certain fuzzbucket has a birthday coming up..."

A slightly indignant meow replied, a fluffy paw batting at his hand. Yuki reached up both paws, grabbing ahold of his fingers. Pulling herself up, she rubbed against his fingers, her lips pulling back a little to show her teeth as she did so.

Snickering, Agon lifted his hand up more. Yuki made a small, husky squawk, her grip slipping without her claws out and falling down onto his lap.

"So, whaddya think, Yuki? A tennis-ball or a felt ribbon? Or maybe I should get you some of that fancy slop you enjoy so much?" Agon asked, scratching between Yuki's shoulders. She gave a noise similar to a groan, stretching and sprawling so he could reach more areas.

Chuckling, Agon kept rubbing and stroking the white feline. As he did so, he noticed one of her toys lying on the ground near his foot. It was one of the fuzzy balls with a bell in the center, one she loved to play fetch with. Still petting Yuki, he reached out with one foot and dragged it closer, causing the bell to ring. The bobtail perked up instantly, jumping down and batting at his foot in effort to get the toy away from him. He laughed, causing her to meow at him, _demanding_ the release of her jingle-ball.

Sliding off the couch to sit on the floor, Agon picked the toy up and dangled it in the air.

"Can you catch it? Can ya?" he teased, waving it above her. Yuki gave a light, playful growl, shifting onto her hind legs to grab at the toy. Sinking her claws into it, she began to pull, trying to reclaim it. "What? Not going to share?"

Gently tugging the toy free of her claws, Agon threw it across the room, bell tinkling. Yuki all but cartwheeled in her haste to chase after it, pouncing and swatting. He laughed in amusement at her cute antics, making her look up at him. Picking the ball up in her mouth, Yuki ran back to him and dropped it next to him. Picking it up, he lightly tossed it from hand to hand. Large blue eyes were riveted on the fuzzy toy, a long, slender leg reaching out to try and swat it out of the air.

Laughing, Agon scratched at her ears, then threw the ball again. Yuki chased after it, her stumpy little tail held aloft.

They repeated this for a while, throwing the ball and bringing it back.

Then Yuki got impish.

She came close, the ball in her mouth, and stood there, looking expectantly at him. As he reached out to take it, she danced away, jumping and twisting in the air.

"Oh? We're playing _that_ game, then?" Agon grinned. A high-pitched _'mrrr'_ answered him through the ball. Climbing to his knees, he reached out again, and Yuki danced away again. If he _really_ wanted to, he could catch her easily using the God-Speed Impulse, but why ruin the fun?

After a few minutes, Agon finally lunged forward, scooping Yuki up. She mewled loudly at him as he reclaimed the toy at last. Laughing and grinning, he put her down on the floor and tossed the ball again. Their little game of tag had taken them through the house some, so it bounced off the wall and into the kitchen.

As Yuki bolted after it, there was a startled shriek of a high pitch.

Agon scowled, getting quickly to his feet. As Yuki came bounding back, toy in her mouth, he scooped her up and stormed towards the kitchen to see who he needed to kill—

"Could you be more careful playing with Yuki? You just about gave me a heart-attack!" Unsui scolded, standing near the kitchen doorway, hand on his chest.

" _Haah?!_ " Agon demanded, a growl lacing his voice.

"Yuki ran over my feet and startled me— I'm busy in here, so can't you two play somewhere else?" his brother said, shaking his head in an admonishing manner.

Agon raised an eyebrow, looking to the cat cradled in his arms. She paused in her mauling of the toy, looking up at him with big blue eyes.

Yuki had run over Unsui's feet _plenty_ before, and he'd never made _that_ sort of noise any of those times. Was Unsui even _capable_ of reaching that pitch?

... Whatever.

"C'mon, Yuki-chan, we should find somewhere else to play, otherwise clumsy Unko-chan might step on you!" he drawled in a deliberately loud voice. Yuki gave a light caterwaul in response, her pitch going up and down as if she were singing, making him laugh.

Since he went straight to his room and shut the door, he didn't see Unsui beckon Ikkyu out of his hiding place.

The cornerback had been sick the day before, and asked Unsui for help catching up on his schoolwork. Since he'd been expecting Agon to be out with one of his various women, Unsui'd agreed and invited Ikkyu over. He hadn't counted on his brother coming home early, which most likely meant another girl had been dumped.

"Th-th-that was..." the cornerback stammered, shaking somewhat. Unsui had claimed that Yuki ran over his feet, but it was actually Ikkyu that she'd startled.

It was useless trying to hide it now. Had Agon not been home, he could've dismissed Yuki as their mother's.

"That was Agon's pet, Yuki-chan." Unsui said, gesturing that they should keep their voices down.

"Huh? Agon's pet is a cat? That's _oni_ out of character!"

Smiling dryly somewhat, Unsui shook his head. "Not really. Agon's always been a cat-lover."

"Ehh?! _Really?!_ "

"Yes, but if you value your life, remember this well, okay?" Unsui instructed grimly.

Ikkyu nodded, eyes wide as he listened intently.

 _"Outside of this house, Yuki-chan and Agon's love of cats in general do not exist, on pain of death."_

 **Please review and let me know what you think! nwn**


End file.
